Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize