Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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