Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize