so explain again why im purple
no
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
