You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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