I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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