Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
