i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
