i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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