When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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