I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
