i barfeds in our rink
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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