I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
smell my finger.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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