can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
