his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
