Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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