so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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