drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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