there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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