Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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