The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
