.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
