how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
