I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the day after is always just damage control
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
