I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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