You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we made out on top of his cat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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