Just cropdusted the office
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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