I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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