i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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