i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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