I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jerry, you need to find god
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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