shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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