Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
