Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
