We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
