You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
