she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
