Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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