I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
