and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
