I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
