Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
her vagine was all disorganized.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
