your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
