Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
