There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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