Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
