So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
