also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize