If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
