Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
