It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So squirting runs in the family.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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