Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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