I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
