i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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