Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
that may or may not have been my penis.
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