Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
