This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
