So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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