Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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