Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize