I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
