tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
