Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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