so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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