My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
