it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
